Boosting Your Sex Drive

I think deep down we all want a strong sex drive. We just don't know how to get it back. I've done a little research and here's what I've found:

Some medical websites say it's an actual physical problem for women as early as their late 20s and early 30s. http://women.webmd.com/features/whhttp://www.thirdage.com/menopause/nine-sex-drive-killersen-desire-dies-bringing-your-sex-drive-back-life

There are certain foods that can increase your sex drive.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/healthy-living/how-to-boost-your-sex-drive-780947.html

One website gives 9 Sex Drive Killers, which I found pretty interesting. 

http://www.thirdage.com/menopause/nine-sex-drive-killers

From what most websites say, low sex drive in women is a combination of three major things: being uncreative in the bedroom, a medical problem, and/or diet/exercise.

I'm off to exercise. I'll start there. Exercise helps so many things in our life anyway. Where will you start?

girl no. 2

In the Bedroom

Since starting this Blog, I promised myself (and my husband) I would be more open-minded and adventurous in the bedroom. Although I don’t prefer Chocolate to Sex, I do prefer Chips and Salsa. Many experts (authors of romance, marriage, sex, relationship books) suggest that if you’re not “in the mood”, you can simply have a Quickie. Hmm. I could do that. So I did, and it was great. Quick. To the point. I got back to reading within 10 minutes, and I was happy. And my husband was happy. Sure, sometimes we want the romance, but we both get what we want with a Quickie.

My husband is satisfied and I get to watch “Jersey Shore” in peace.

Girl Number One

The Dry Spell

Okay okay okay. You're right. This blog is called Sex.Love.Marriage. And I, Girl No.2, have not talked about sex yet. I'm nervous about spilling my sex life onto the screen and letting cyber space judge me accordingly. But, I believe in this blog and I believe in being honest to my readers.

(Warning: If you are reading this blog for the Love.Marriage sections then skip this sultry entry.)

My husband and I dated for about two months before I let him kiss me. I wanted this relationship to be different. Then as soon as we kissed it was full steam ahead. We had sex sometimes 3 times a day. We were in love and very physically showing it with each other. As time went on and we got to know each other better, my husband revealed to me that he isn't all that interested in sex ALL the time. My husband loves to hold hands and make out. The fresh new relationship sex wore off and we were having sex consistently 2-3 times a week. And THEN. I got pregnant. And THEN we got married. And....drum rolllllllllllll. We have had sex once since our wedding night. And we got married in March of 2010.

I know. I'm a terrible wife. But, here are some key reasons. I've had some abuse in my past. I was very uncomfortable having sex when I was pregnant. My husband is VERY understanding and sensitive to me to the point of annoyance. So now he does not ever initiate sex, because of course he would feel terrible if I turned him down. So it's all on me to initiate it and.....we don't do it.

So. I"m planning on it. Very soon. To get our sex life back. Men need it and I know this. This is my goal for this year. To reclaim our sex life and be the wonderful wife I know is in me.

Girl Number Two

Statistics

Age Group	18-24	25-29	30-39	40-49	50-59
Not in past year	50.8	43.0	72.3	71.1	85.4
A few times per year to monthly	16.4	21.5	10.7	16.9	5.4
A few times per month to weekly	19.7	24.1	12.5	9.9	7.0
2-3 times per week	8.2	1.3	4.5	2.1	2.2
4 or more times per week	4.9	10.1	0.0	0.0	0.0
Not in past year	11.8	3.5	6.5	8.1	22.0
A few times per year to monthly	14.7	11.6	16.3	21.7	23.7
A few times per month to weekly	14.7	47.7	50.2	46.6	36.2
2-3 times per week	35.3	35.2	21.9	20.8	16.9
4 or more times per week	23.5	2.0	5.1	2.7	1.1

I will try and fix this so it's easier to read, but until then,
the Top Graph is Single Women, Bottom Graph Married Women.

You can see the rest of the statistics at

The Kinsey Institute

Sex and the tired mom

Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey states that 44% are fully satisfied with their sex lives (2010). I just wonder who they interviewed. Certainly not mothers with preschoolers. There is no sex life to be satisfied with. Mothers don’t have sex. We breastfeed. We hold our two-year-old's puke at 3 a.m. We cut up 3 bananas, 3 peanut butter jelly sandwiches, 10 slices of cheese, 2 apples, and 5 carrot sticks every day. We clean toilets, potty train and give haircuts. We don’t have time for sex. We don’t have the energy. The other night my husband and I planned to have sex. But then he fell asleep at 7:30 with our two-year-old. So I caught up on some reading and some “Jersey Shore”. He woke me up at 4:30 a.m. and told me he loved me.  Code word for "I want to make love, do the deed, have relations". Whatever you call it. I do not make whoopie at 4:00 in the morning. The kids will be up any minute, your breath smells like dead fish, and I’m having a really nice dream about this really cute guy from the gym. Back off. We’ll try again tomorrow night.

Dr. Mehmet Oz, Oprah Winfrey's favorite physician (and because Oprah said it, we believe it), said that we should be having sex 200 times a year. That’s 3-4 times a week. That can be done. If you’re not with 3 little ones who demand your attention 20 hours/day. I’m wondering what the realistic expectation for sex is. Should we be having it everyday? I know for some men, if they’re not getting it from their wife, they will start looking elsewhere. Maybe I’ll start drinking coffee at night, and that will keep me awake for the festivities. And then I’ll be really tired in the morning, or perhaps, I’ll feel satisfied.

Girl no. one