A Break from Marriage? Yes, Please.

I miss dating. The thrill of the first date, the first kiss and then moving on before the first 'I love You'. At least that's how I did it. No commitment for me. I loved the beginning, the small talk. I miss the time in life when everything was new and fresh and exciting.

Marriage is dull and monotonous. Marriage is sleeping on the couch when you need a break. You can't just crash at a girlfriend's house when you need some alone time. You can't go out for dinner and flirt and order expensive drinks because he's paying. Nope. When you're married you eat Lasagna at home and talk about the kids, and if you happen to find a sitter, you go out to eat and order the least expensive item on the menu because you have to buy diapers and formula and pay for piano lessons.

Romance and fine dining? It's over. Over.

Yes, soccer games are fun. Pizza and game night is fun. Disney World is fun. But I miss staying out late. I miss talking to cute boys. I miss only paying $4 for my bar tab because I was skinny and cute and all the boys thought so too.

Marriage is security. It's waking up, knowing you'll be loved and cared for. It's a lot of work trying to keep excitement and glitter in a marriage. Especially after you have kids. After kids your mind is bogged down with doctor appointments and how to discipline in public and how to get your 2 year-old to eat vegetables. Marriage is your husband coming home and yelling at you because you spend too much money. Yes, I need anti-depressants, caffeine, chocolate, chips, a gym membership and a new pair of boots to survive motherhood. I'm sorry, but Moms do all the work, get all of the blame and never sleep. Maybe I'm not even looking for romance. Maybe I'm just looking for my husband to slap my ass or say hello to me. Something little. To tide me over for awhile.

I want some Glitter.

This is all jumbled.  

I can hear my kids coughing. I know it's going to be a long night.

Ugghhh.

Girl Number One